The myth, which almost everyone believes, is that we "have" self-discipline. It's something in us, like a genetic gift, that we either have or we don't.
The truth is that we don't "have" self-discipline, we use self-discipline.
Here's another way to realize it: Self-discipline is like a language. Any child can learn a language. (All children do learn a language, actually.)And the more you use, the more you can make happen.
If you were an Andhraite transferred to Bangalore to live for a year and needed to make your living there, the more Kannada you used, the better it would be for you.
If you had never used Kannada before, you could still use it.
You can open your little English/Kannada phrases dictionary and start using it. You can ask for directions or help right out of that little dictionary! You didn't need to have been born with anything special.
The same is true with self-discipline, in the same exact way. Yet most people don't believe that. Most people think they either have it or they don't. Most people think it's a character trait or a permanent aspect of their personality.
That's a profound mistake. That's a mistake that can ruin a life.
But the good news is that it is never too late to correct that mistake in yourself and your people. It's never too late to learn the real truth.
And listen to how people get this so wrong:
"He would be my top salesperson if he had any self-discipline at all," a company leader recently said. "But he has none."
Not true. He has as much self-discipline as anyone else does, he just hasn't chosen to use it yet. Just as we all have as many Kannada words to draw upon as anyone else.
It is true that the more often I choose to go to my little dictionary and use the words, the easier it gets to use Kannada. If I go enough times to the book, and practice enough words and phrases, it gets so easy to speak Kannada that it seems like it's part of my nature, like it's something I "have" inside me. Just like golf looks like it comes naturally to Tiger Woods.
Self-discipline is the same.
If the person you lead truly understood that self-discipline is something one uses, not something one has, then that person could use it to accomplish virtually any goal he or she ever set. They could use it whenever they wanted, or leave it behind whenever they wanted.
Instead, they worry. They worry about whether they've got what it takes. Whether it's "in" them. Whether their parents and guardians put it there. (Some think it's put there experientially; some think it's put there genetically. It's neither. It's never put "in" there at all. It's a tool that anyone can use. Like a hammer. Like a dictionary.)
Enlightened leaders get more out of their people because they know that each of their people already has everything it takes to be successful. They don't buy the excuses, the apologies, the sad fatalism that most non-performers skillfully sell to their managers. They just don't buy it.
Discipline Something in human nature causes us to start slacking off at our moment of greatest accomplishment. As you become successful, you will need a great deal of self-discipline not to lose your sense of balance, humility and commitment.------H. Ross Perot Chairman Emeritus of the Board of Perot Systems Corporation
Discipline is remembering what you want.
—David Campbell, founder, Saks Fifth Avenue
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