Wednesday, June 25, 2008

18. ANGER

18. Anger

Most of us experience anger at one time or another. Others may get angry with us, justifiably or not. We may become angry at others, sometimes with very good reason, sometimes not. One thing is for sure, it is not a pleasant experience.

We cannot always reason with those that are bitter towards us and sometimes we may need to accept that it exists. To counteract this with retaliation is something that needs careful consideration.

"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved." - Marcus Antonius

Perhaps we are guilty of hostility more than we would like to be. Greater interaction with people should reduce these feelings. Less anger should result in more confidence and less stress.

Is a discussion possible and is it worthwhile? A few words and an exchange of viewpoints might result in one or both sides having a change in attitude. Try to see another point of view no matter how unreasonable it appears.

Consider how you are feeling. It is common, perhaps good advice, to let anger be expressed, to not hold it inside. My personal experience is that sometimes I have regretted this because I was wrong or over reacted. Sometimes the anger still lingered. Avoiding anger in the first place, through conciliation or acceptance, can result in feeling better all around.

Hatred is a prolonged anger towards a fellow human. There are various forms of hatred, motivated in different ways, and mostly without cause. Prejudice, jealousy, gossip, bullying are hard to deal with. This is where friends can be a great help in trying to understand these harmful actions. They can offer comfort and foresight. Be a friend.

"Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame." - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

15. Appreciation

15. Appreciation


A better life has been achieved when we are no longer trying to achieve a better life. It means that we are content, as we should be, with ourselves and what we have. To be anxious for more or to envy someone else's life or possessions is self-defeating. We are then in a constant state of frustration, always hoping and waiting for more happiness.

So what is important? Enough, not more.

"Think of what you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them." - Marcus Aurelius (121-180)

There is, here and now, much to appreciate. There is life itself with friends, family, and everything that is naturally before us. We just have to look around and take it in. Perhaps it is time to make a list of all the good things we have to grateful for.

Are there people in your life that you would miss dearly if they were not here? When you go for a walk don't you see, hear, and smell, many things to appreciate and feel nice about? Like the flowers, trees, birds, and the clouds in the sky. A caterpillar crossing the sidewalk or your neighbor waving. A cute pup or child enthusiastically enjoying that moment in life.

"Whether in favor or in humiliation, be not dismayed. Let your eyes leisurely look at the flowers blooming and falling in your courtyard. Whether you leave or retain your position, take no care. Let your mind wander with the clouds folding and unfolding beyond the horizon." - Hung Tzu-ch'eng (1593-1665)

It just makes good sense to be satisfied and at peace with yourself and others, and to enjoy life now.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

14. Kindness

14. Kindness

Kindness to others is usually a rewarding experience, both to the recipient and the giver. When we are kind to someone we do not need to be thanked since we are instantly rewarded.

"When you are good to others, you are best to yourself." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Doing a favor or showing understanding and compassion just feels good. To do so for praise or other benefit is more of a trade and does not have the same effect. To be kind without taking credit for it is a true unselfish act of goodness. Not only are we performing a kindness, but we are doing ourselves a big favor by reducing our stresses and improving our well being.

"The measure of a person's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." - Thomas Macaulay (1800-1859)

Many philosophers and others have stated this important relationship between our feelings toward others and the way we feel. By thinking of other people, we get our thoughts away from ourselves. This is particularly helpful if we find that we are too often occupied with self-pity, anger, or anxieties. It can work miracles.Charity is more than a tax deduction.

"If you lend money, it is uncertain whether you shall be repaid; but if you bestow alms, although they may be small, your return will be a hundred fold." - Saskya Pandita (1182-1251)

So do yourself a favor and be kind every day.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

12. Relaxation

12. Relaxation

Practicing relaxation techniques can help calm our days when they get too stressful. It's easy to miss out on enjoying a day in our life if our minds are filled with worrisome thoughts and our bodies are tense with stress. A day lived is not coming back and we should not lose it in this way.

For starters, eliminate some things. Avoid running around frantically trying to do too many things. Slow down and move with an easy manner.

If you cannot avoid problems and busy days, get in the habit of pausing to breathe slowly and deeply. Try to continue with easy breathing as you continue on with your tasks.

When tightening up, say at your desk, relax all your muscles. Let them go limp and loose like a soft towel. Don't try, just let it all go. Consciously let the muscles relax every time you feel them tighten, which might be all day long to start with. It is almost impossible to feel stressed if your muscles are relaxed.

If you can get a short break create a detailed peaceful retreat in your imagination and go there to calm your feelings. Picture it in vivid detail. Perhaps a comfortable room with soft music, a quiet place in the woods, a placid lake, a beautiful garden with flowers, trees, birds. Perhaps such a place already exists. While you are there, let go of everything except where you are.

Create a personal selection of calming words like serene, tranquil, peaceful and repeat them to yourself as you move through your day.

After work perhaps you can have a relaxing pastime such as walking or listening to music.

"There is however, a true music of nature - the song of the birds, the whisper of leaves, the ripple of waters upon a sandy shore, the wail of wind or sea." - John Lubbock (1834-1913)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

11. CONFIDENCE

11. Confidemce

Have you often admired the person who is friendly, relaxed and talks easily in a crowd? Most of us have wished that we had more of these outgoing attributes to help us in our work and daily lives.Confidence comes easily and naturally for some, for many others it seems impossible. The good news is that it is a habit that can be learned to some degree by anyone. It will take some training and practice, but what a great way to be more successful and to feel better.

"The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. Without the power to dictate to the brain its task and to ensure obedience - true life is impossible." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)

A great source for learning self-confidence is of course books. You haven't been alone in the need for information on improving your ability to interact positively with people and there are numerous self-help books available to get you started. Just take an easy approach and read a variety of the best sellers that you feel will benefit you the most.

Using autosuggestion, by repeatedly filling the mind with thoughts of calmness and composure, can improve self-assurance. Picture in your mind, as vividly as possible, a scene in which you are performing very successfully. Picture this again and again so that your mind is totally occupied with your easy performance. This will push out doubt as there is not room for both trains of thought. Every time a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with positive thoughts.

Affirmations are a similar technique that can work wonders. This is the repeating of positive words about yourself, concerning what you wish to do. The words cram the mind with confident thoughts that have a direct effect on how you feel and act. As an example, if you have to make a presentation - ' I have nothing to lose. They like me and I feel good and comfortable with these people. I am concentrating on them, not on myself. They are not here to be critical of me. I am doing everything slowly, calmly, surely. I am relaxed and breathing deeply and easily. I feel confident about this and am in control.

'"They can because they think they can." - Vergil (BC)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

10. DESPAIR

10. DESPAIR
The feeling of despair and hopelessness may seem very appropriate and particular to your situation, but you should know that others have been there and have suffered similar or worse experiences. They have survived to enjoy life and so will you.

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival." - Winston Churchill.

All things pass, have they not always before? To counteract the feeling of hopelessness, list those assets and pleasures which you have but seem to be ignoring. Perhaps some of these words will turn your thoughts: family, friends, health, job, home, nature, pets, garden, music, faith, books. Start thinking about the nice things in your life, things you value and make you happy. Leave the negatives behind. "Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." - Erich Fromm.

The feeling of guilt often results in despair and depression. We should think about the wrong we have done, but just long enough to realize the full extent of what we did. If there is something that can be done about it, consider doing it. The only other thing that we can do is to assure ourselves that we will avoid that mistake in the future. Beyond this, stewing over it and rehashing the event endlessly, will do no good. It is a complete waste of time and makes us feel sick with worry.

Avoid experiences that result in guilt by not judging, blaming, or bringing down other people. Try to find their good points, and try to avoid anger. Be nice to yourself too, accept that you make mistakes, and don't hold a grudge.

One of the best ways to recover from despair, guilt, or sorrow, is to keep busy.

"When all else is lost the future still remains." - Christian Bovee (1820-1904

Monday, June 16, 2008

9. RESPONSIBILITY

9. RESPONSIBILITY

Our lives are only as good as we decide to make them. As with any worthwhile project we should make short and long range plans. We should follow them through, reviewing and altering them as we go. It is our design and determination that decide our destiny, and this is our responsibility.

When things go wrong we should not be quick to blame anyone. This can easily become a habit supplying us with ready excuses for our own mistakes and problems. Let's examine others' and our own actions and then decide how we should proceed with our own efforts.

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." - Thomas Kempis (1380-1471)

We should make a special effort to be what we want to be, giving consideration to what others might wish of us. We must do our duties, complete our tasks, be kind and honest. When there is the temptation for an immediate pleasure that may be harmful to us or to others, we must resist. Where there are injustices we should speak up.

"It is not alone what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." - Moliere (1622-1673)

We are individuals and should do what we believe in, taking responsibility for our actions. A good critical look at ourselves is very helpful in determining what needs changing. It may also reveal much good to be proud of.

Not in the clamor of the crowded street,Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng,But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.- Henry Longfellow (1807-1882)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

8. ACCEPTANCE

8. ACCEPTANCE
When faced with a serious problem the first thing we can do is determine if there is a way to fix it. If there is a way then we can lay out a plan and go to it. If there is not a reasonable solution then we can resign ourselves to the fact that it isn't going to change and move on. Acceptance of the situation can provide some immediate relief from the anger, anxiety and stress that might be burdening us.

Why wouldn't you accept it, if it does not have a solution? Rehashing it over and over in your mind will not make it disappear and is just self punishment. The Serenity Prayer as used by the Alcoholics Anonymous organization puts it in this way.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

Most of our worries are about something that has happened and is still with us, real or perhaps only as a memory. If it has already happened, what can be learned? It is the experience of struggling, surviving and carrying on, that makes us better humans.

How often have you worried intensely over something that turned out to be not as bad as you initially thought, or not a problem at all? Even some of our most serious personal problems often fade away in a month or year.

Acceptance is an important ingredient in the formula of life. It makes an irritating situation acceptable, a major problem minor. Acceptance should be waiting to take over whenever there is not a way out.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of the will." - Epictetus (55-135)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

7. FUTURE

7. Future

Our vision for the future might hold one of these two possibilities. We could be dreaming about some enjoyment that hopefully lies ahead, or worried about some looming hardship.Often the enjoyment in our lives is put on hold, we just need more time and money. We just have to work a little harder. Too many things can go wrong with this and we may not be able to do it later for various reasons. If we put off our enjoyment of life until later, it may take longer than we think, or it may never happen the way that we envisioned it.We should not throw away our precious todays in anticipation of good times, not when we can have days of enjoyment and satisfaction now. Perhaps it's time for an examination of our style of life and our wants and needs, now and for the future. It is good to imagine a happy future and make plans for it but we should not put off the happiness we can have today. So why not live each day as if the future plans may not materialize.

"We are never living, but only hoping to live; and, looking forward always to being happy, it is inevitable that we never are so." - Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

Worrying over something that is going to happen will make our lives stressful and less happy.After examining an upcoming difficult or seemingly disastrous situation, if there is something that can be done to improve on it, do it. If not, and the event cannot or should not be avoided, then accept the fact and start thinking about something else. Worrying about it will not only be a total waste of time but it will increase anxiety, and things will seem even worse than they really are.

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly." Buddha (BC)


Friday, June 13, 2008

6. TODAY

Today (Present)

Have we ever asked a question openly thatAre we living for that moment or minute? Mostly the answer would come straight not yet. The reason being was our lives, values and Ethics are based on either the past or Future but never on Present day.

We never attempt to learn from the present minute but assure ourself either from past or future. Thus by accepting this neither we live in past nor future.

Focus on presentday scenario of life andtry to grab each minute of it.


At the end of today, if it has been preoccupied with thoughts of enjoyment that might be coming, we will find that we have lost something valuable that will be gone forever. Today!

In hoping to be happy about something in the future, instead of being happy right now, we are missing out. We often want more time, more money for that new purchase, a better job, better health. The list may be long.

This is such a waste because there are probably many things to feel really good about each day. Unfortunately we are encouraged to dwell on things that we have yet to acquire. If we were bombarded with daily reminders of how lucky we are and how much we have to be happy about, we would retire at night with wonderful days behind us.

"No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy the sunlight today, mix good cheer with friends today, then enjoy it and bless God for it. Do not look back on happiness or dream of it in the future. You are only sure of today; do not let yourself be cheated of it." - Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1878)

Our day should be free of other stresses and worries. An analysis of a bad event that has happened, or may happen, can be worthwhile in determining a course of action. Beyond that, to continue worrying about it is a completely useless waste of time and is harmful to our health. Worry does not help the future experience and could make it worse, and the past cannot be changed.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could, some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

So enjoy yourself today because it is not coming back.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

5. Gaze of PAST

5. Past

Being Human beings and scientifically evolved species though we make tall claims, still we suffer n indecision and illogical activties and ideaology.
Most of us dwell in past thoughts and dig through past mistakes to make a report like that of a post-mortem report.

We all make mistakes. Sometimes they are very bad and cause ourselves and others much worry and suffering. We can be depressed and burdened with regret for many years, never forgiving ourselves, never forgetting our actions. Carrying on in this way is another big mistake, disturbing our lives in very unpleasant and painful ways.

It is not necessary. Worrying about something that has already happened is a complete waste of time if you just keep wishing that it hadn't happened. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience." - George Washington (1732-1779)

Perhaps there is some way to make amends and that should still be a consideration. If not then regard it as a learning experience. Review what has happened enough to draw conclusions about what to do, and what not do, in the future. But then forget the stupid or bad thing you did and start thinking about something else.

Negative thoughts about the past will keep coming back again and again unless there are other thoughts occupying your mind. Begin feeding your brain with encouraging and fun ideas especially when that 'thing' from the past returns. Be generous, kind and forgiving to others and yourself.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

You no longer have yesterday; you only have today and tomorrows.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

4. THOUGHTS

4. Thoughts

Life is thought, and when we cease to think, we are not living. How we think, is the kind of life we live. Since we are able to control our thoughts, we can determine the course of our life and the way we feel during our time here.

"We are what we think." - Buddha (BC)

It is very important to establish good thinking guidelines and follow them. Placing thoughts of peace and happiness in our minds will help to make our lives peaceful and happy. If we do not set our thoughts properly, we travel through life by way of places where we will wish we had not gone.

"It is the mind that maketh good or ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor." - Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)

Our daily life includes thoughts associated with responsibilities concerning work, other people, and handling problems. If possible, try not to think of too many different things during your day, and don't move or think too quickly. Start your morning with a plan to come through to bedtime relaxed, contented, and ready for a restful night's sleep.

"Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1932)

Reflect about things that can improve your feelings - learning, completing tasks and duties, pleasant and relaxing experiences, kind words. Think about your happiness, goals, life and its pleasures, your principles and your conduct. Think about enjoying the moment.

"Garner up pleasant thoughts in your mind, for pleasant thoughts make pleasant lives." - John Wilkins (1614-1672)

What are you thinking about?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

3 . ATTITUDE

3. Attitude:
We all face situations in our lives that cannot be changed and that make us feel helpless and hopeless. Perhaps it is less serious than that, but we are stressed and worried. It might be an event that has happened, is happening, or will happen.

It should provide some immediate comfort to consider that these situations do not directly cause these awful feelings, but it is what we think of these situations. Changing our thoughts can have an enormous effect on how we are feeling. This has been stated by many great minds, over very many years.

"I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet." - Ancient Persian Saying

By reviewing some of the good things in our lives, past and present, we can feel good even in what appears to be a very disturbing situation. As long as there is nothing we can do to fix a problem, dwelling on the negative aspects of it will only make us feel worse and will do absolutely no good. Since it all depends on what is in our thoughts, we can control this.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - John Milton (1608-1674)

So start listing the things in your life that make or have made you happy. Stuff your mind with other things that make you smile or laugh. Keep it up so as not to let the negative creep back in.

Study babies. They fall and get up and try again and again, and then they walk. They are usually always ready to laugh, at the littlest things. They are constantly interested in new things to learn about, and normally sleep well. If they brood about a bad experience it's not for long.

Hence, Attitude is everything one needs ever.
If we consider A-Z as 1-26 and then add up the letters with corresponding number
KNOWLEDGE adds to a total of 96
HARDWORK
to a total of 98
ATTITUDE
to a grand total of 100

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." - Art Linkletter

Monday, June 9, 2008

2. PURPOSE

2. Purpose:

Many of us at one time or another have wondered what we are doing here. This can be both at times when we are having hectic, stress filled days, or at a standstill in a fog of boredom. We have temporarily lost sight of our purpose.

On average, the hours we work constitute a relatively small portion of our life and should not control our well being. If you are too tired or do not have enough time to do anything after hours, then your daily routine may be out of balance and may need to be adjusted. Your work may be too difficult or unsuitable, or you may need to change your routine. Perhaps a simpler lifestyle would change your focus on your work and life in general.

To obtain a healthy purpose in our lives we need a good balance of our time for work, goals, recreation, and relaxation. The daily routine should be examined, a plan established, and then it should be followed.

We can make good use of our time away from work to increase our knowledge of things and life, to work at a hobby or project, and to just relax. There may not be much room to maneuver, say if you are a working single parent, but perhaps a few hours can be found during your hectic week to do something that you want to do.

Most of us use only a small percentage of our capabilities and can do so much more. Learning new things gives us a feeling of achievement. Reading nonfiction books increases our knowledge and teaches us new skills, but it should be enjoyable. In undertaking a new after hours project do something different from what you do all day at work. Start with something small and complete it, so as not to get discouraged and to get a feeling of achievement when it is done.

If you are too busy and under a lot of stress, a more passive and relaxing undertaking might be in order, at least to start with. A day a week, or a few hours on certain days, should be set aside for your favorite enjoyment. Walking, listening to nice music, reading a novel, or leisurely working in the yard. Avoid news or entertainment that is saturated with disasters and violence. But whatever you do, don't sit and stew.

"When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind." - Seneca

Sunday, June 8, 2008

1. LIFE

1. Life:

Life s not what you think but t's what you are!

"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead." - Scottish Proverb

Everyone says, "How the time flies." The days go by and they are years, and the years finally become our whole life. Each daily portion can be wasted, or it can be a pleasure, before it is gone forever. If a bedtime review of the day concludes that we were too stressed, too busy, didn't accomplish anything, didn't have any fun, then it has been another lost piece of precious life.

Perhaps we are putting off our enjoyment until we have more time, or money, or some other improved condition. The trouble with that is that it might never happen, or it may be too long in coming. It's so important to accept this time, this very minute, as something of tremendous value that will very soon be gone forever. There are many ways to ensure that we make the best of our time here on earth.

In our daily routine let's include time to enjoy others and thus ourselves. Look and wonder at the trees, fields and mountains, smell the flowers, hear the birds, and watch the clouds in the sky.

"This world, after all our science and sciences, is still a miracle; wonderful, magical and more, to whosoever will think of it." - Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

Face your problems bravely, confidently, and improve on your situation, no matter what state it be in. Be good to feel good. Be active and improve your mind. Laugh, relax, and sleep well.

Life is mostly froth and bubble;Two things stand like stone:

Kindness in another's trouble,

Courage in our own. - Adam Gordon (1833-1870)

Saturday, June 7, 2008

32 KEYS

32 Keys

what are the 32 keys for life?

1. Life
2. Purpose
3. Attitude
4. Thoughts
5. Past
6. Today (Present)
7. Future
8. Acceptance
9. Responsbility
10. Despair
11.Confidence
12. Relaxation
13. Fear
14. Kindness
15. Appreciation
16. Faith
17. Happiness
18. Anger
19. Values
20. Stress
21. Problems
22. Revenge
23. Friendship
24. Love
25. Self-Esteem
26. Cooperation
27. Sleep
28. Worry
29. Cheerfulness
30. Humlity
31. Health
32. Meditation

Friday, June 6, 2008

32 KEYS : A collection of Ideas about Life

Introduction:

There are many common mental problems that can plague our every day lives, making us unhappy and sick. Worry, stress, anger, fear, depression, insomnia, self-doubt, nervousness are some of the worse. Since each day lost to these ills cannot be replaced, we ought to be doing something about it.While we should always consult a medical professional when we have physical or mental problems, there are often many ways that we can help ourselves to a better life.In the area of self-help there is much to draw upon when looking for ways to improve our lives. Many ideas have been written by great thinkers of the past and best-selling authors of today. Often words written two thousand years ago are more effective than words written today, perhaps because they have withstood the test of time.

These ideas are easy enough to understand, but more difficult to practice. But it just takes practice. A good place to start is the self-help or self-improvement section of your public library or bookstore. If you think that this is an odd place in which to be seen, think again. There are very many big selling self-help titles to choose from. These books are popular reading.

Start with the most popular books on various self-help topics. Reread the better ones, highlight the best phrases, and take notes. Set aside fifteen minutes a day to help make good thinking and happy, satisfied feelings a way of life. It could be the best time investment you ever made.

"All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience." - Johann von Goethe (1749-1832)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Late but Happy

I felt lonely first time when my Mother left Me in December 2007. I was in hope that some means she'll give me some message in any form after understanding my attachment with her.
Making me Happy she contacted my Guruji in meditation and answered many questions that were in my mind since longtime but keping silent as they might hurt her approach of the world.

When I was down emotionally in April and I wanted to have a word with her but my Guruji asked for time. Later I forgot it entirely.
On 3rd June 2008 being Vaisakha amavasya, I offered her the monthly rituals and performed the pooja full pledged. The nextday early morning She gave me Swapna darshan and asked me some questions, but i was stupid and just listened to her.
Thus she fulfilled my desire.

Why I was writing this not to say that I'm one with attachment in spiritual, but whatever we pray them for will be fulfilled when and where they feel it right but not on our wish.

Thanking my Holy mother and Devoting to my Gurudev's feet, without whom I may be a past and thanking one woman who taught me turnaround in my life( I might provide details of this woman and my attachment when it comes)